Feeling this
by Minatu-chan
Summary: Karkat reflects on his relationship with Dave. He fears losing him as much as he fears continuing to live while Dave is asleep. Yet he lives for the day Dave will wake up. DaveKat


**Hello! I worked super hard on this, so I do hope that it's rather enjoyable. :) **

**_Disclaimer_- I do not own Homestuck. It belongs to the awesome Andrew Hussie. I most definitely cannot write something that complex yet...  
**

**Pairings: Davekat**

**Song: **_**Feeling This**_** by Blink-182**

_**Feeling This**_

_{Get ready for action!}_

_I got no regret right now _

_I'm feeling this_

Karkat felt his back hit a tree trunk. Dave leaned over him like a predator, his hot breath flowing around his face. Karkat stared up into Dave's shades, frowning slightly. He reached up to remove them, but Dave brushed his hand away.

"What were you thinking?" Dave hissed lowly. Karkat stared back at Dave, barely able to tell if Dave was upset. Those sunglasses of his were really obnoxious. Even if they made him look incredibly cool.

"Just back the fuck off then," Karkat replied, narrowing his eyes. If Dave didn't want to continue their constantly flip-flopping relationship, then who was he to stop him?

"No," Dave replied. Their lips crashed into each others'.

_The air is so cold and low _

_I'm feeling this_

Snow crashed down from the sky, piling up faster than Karkat was accustomed to. Now he couldn't even leave the house. At least, he didn't feel like pushing a foot of snow out of the way in order to leave. It looked like he and Dave were stuck at his hive for the time being.

Karkat heard Dave moan.

"Ugh, _Karkat_..."

_Let me go in her room _

_I'm feeling this_

Sunshine faded as the tall, city buildings blocked out their light. Karkat was tossed onto Dave's bed, and the taller boy crawled over him with a smirk. Karkat pulled the blonde's shades off and was pulled into a chaotic kiss.

_I love all the things you do _

_I'm feeling this_

Karkat stared up at the ceiling. All he could even bother to think about was Dave. His heart swelled when he was with the blonde. It was a bit of a disgusting reaction. He didn't want to have such laughable flushed feelings for Dave.

Yet, he loved him. The weird way Dave smiled when he said 'hello' to Karkat in the mornings when they were together, how he slept through Karkat's movies even though he promised to stay awake that time, or even how he refused to take off his glasses even when it was just him and Karkat.

Karkat was so frustrated with the boy that sometimes he didn't even know how he felt about Dave.

_{I wanna take off her clothes _

_I'm feeling this}_

Sloppy kisses, desperate hands.

Soft, pale skin. It was a delight.

Bright red eyes met Karkat's without the barrier of lens.

Beautiful, flushed cheeks.

Dave's poker face, completely gone.

_Show me the way to bed _

_I'm feeling this_

Dave pushed Karkat backwards until he collided with the edge of the bed in his house. Dave continued to push until they had both fallen onto the bed. All it really was was kissing. Dave liked to tower over Karkat, even when they were kissing. Karkat found himself unable to struggle for dominance like he did when he was with other trolls.

Dave caressed Karkat's horns. They were small, but perfect. They were small, like Karkat.

_Show me the way you move _

_I'm feeling this_

Dave dragged Karkat to his feet and led him across the living room in an odd sort of ballroom dance. Karkat stumbled after Dave's much more graceful lead. Karkat felt embarrassed at first, even though it was only the two of them. Karkat just wasn't good at it like Dave, but then he saw Dave's smile.

Karkat couldn't believe that such a smile had graced the blonde's face. He stared in fascination for a long moment while Dave dragged him around.

_Fuck it, it's such a blur _

_I'm feeling this_

Karkat slammed his head into his keyboard, red tinted tears filling his eyes. How could he have been so blind?

_I love all the things you do _

_I'm feeling this_

Dave curled up against Karkat, smiling slightly to himself. He was beat after a long day. Karkat was barely awake at the time. He was only vaguely surprised that Dave had decided to curl up with him rather than venturing off to his own room where his own "much more comfortable" bed resided.

Karkat was, nonetheless, pleased that Dave had decided to curl up with him.

_Fate fell short this time_

Karkat slammed his head against the desk, barely missing his cracked keyboard.

CG: FHJNMK

GA: Karkat Are You Alright

CG: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU GRUBBING IDIOT

GA: Calm Down Karkat

GA: Its Going To Be Just Fine

GA: Im Sure Itll Be Easy To Continue Forward

CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT AT ALL

_Your smile fades in the summer_

Karkat reached out toward Dave. He wasn't smiling. No. Karkat couldn't believe that he chose to have a poker face at a time like that. It was burning through his soul.

_Place your hand in mine_

"Dave... Can we...?" Karkat began, scratching his cheek lightly. His cheeks were flushed a light red color. Dave looked over at him, wondered what exactly Karkat was asking.

Karkat's hand held itself out to Dave.

"Yeah, sure," Dave took Karkat's hand and let their joined extremity swing between them.

_I'll leave when I wanna_

Karkat shoved his hands in his coat pockets, standing outside of Dave's house. A small puff of breath escaped his leps and into the chilly air. He knocked on Dave's door _again_. He'd already lost count of how many times he'd done it.

"I'm not leaving," Karkat repeated through the door. Silence was his answer. Dave was really upset that time... or he'd decided he wanted to have some girl 'time'. _That hurts._

_Where do we go from here_

Karkat seriously liked Dave. It was odd that he had such oddly flushed feelings for the blonde because they were kismesis. Not a red emotion. Karkat wanted to be with Dave, and it just seemed to be improbable.

_Turn all the lights down now_

The lights flickered out as thunder shook the building. Dave's oxygen cut off and Karkat lept to his feet. He had to do something, otherwise Dave could die. He lifted the mask off of Dave's face and held his fingers over Dave's mouth. Not even a meager exhale touched them. Karkat bent over Dave and breathed a small amount of air into Dave while holding his nose closed. And again.

Karkat kept Dave breathing until a nurse came in with a machine. She was red in the face and seemed panicked. Karkat allowed her to put the mask on Dave. Dave was still in the critical stages of his healing.

_Smiling from ear to ear _

_I'm feeling this_

Karkat lay on the couch with Dave. They were a tangle of arms and legs. The TV screen was full of static that buzzed quietly. It would be annoying if Karkat was distracted by Dave's fingers walking across his stomach. Dave looked at Karkat with a slight smile, his shades reflecting Karkat's face in them. Karkat sighed, annoyed that he had to look at his reflection in order to meet Dave's eyes.

Then Dave started to tickle him. A wide smile spread across Karkat's face as laughter filled the air.

_Our breathing has got too loud _

_I'm feeling this_

Karkat was panting for air. He couldn't catch it. Nor could he understand how Dave was able to keep going. They'd been running for miles and the sound of their breathing seemed to be all the noise in the world. It would've seemed eerie if it weren't for Dave's presence. There was the occasional flash of headlights when a car passed by.

_Show me the bedroom floor _

_I'm feeling this_

"Don't tackle me!" Karkat laughed while Dave planted kisses to his sensitive stomach. He squirmed on the carpet beneath Dave. His bed was barely three feet away.

"Then stop me," Dave replied in a rough voice. Karkat's eyes widened, and his face flushed a light red. Dave had to always be the cool one in those sorts of situations. He returned to torturing Karkat with laughter inducing kisses.

_Show me the bathroom mirror_

_I'm feeling this_

Karkat hugged Dave from behind while the blonde was brushing his teeth dutifully. Karkat watched quietly, simply enjoying their physical closeness at that moment. Dave's scent enraptured him.

_We're taking this way too slow_

_I'm feeling this_

Dave's fingers left a hot trail on Karkat's skin. Karkat wondered about the human mating rituals, and it seemed that Dave wished to take part in it with him.

Was it supposed to be so frustratingly slow? Karkat wanted Dave then, not any later.

_Take me away from here _

_I'm feeling this_

"NO! DAVE!" Karkat screamed, kicking and screaming. He tried to rip through his restraints. Dave was right _there_ in front of him, surrounded by candy red blood.

Pale red tears caressed Karkat's cheeks.

"DAVE!" he wept, barely able to make himself move anymore. Dave couldn't possibly be dead, could he?

_Fate fell short this time_

"Good morning," Kanaya said to Karkat. He had been staying over at her house a lot more often. He felt lonely without Dave at his house to keep him company. Karkat could barely stand being away from the hospital, but Kanaya suggested that he should go out and continue to live for Dave.

_Your smile fades in the summer_

"Dave. Shut the fuck up. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about," Karkat told the human sternly. Dave fell silent, a deep frown appearing on his face.

"Then enlighten me," he replied. Karkat sighed.

"I don't have time for this shit right now, okay?" he replied, staring unwaveringly into Dave's shades. Dave simply walked out of the house, the door slamming behind him.

_Place your hand in mine_

Karkat inched his hand closer to Dave's. Their fingers were just barely touching, but his fingers were already tingling with excitement. Karkat curled his fingers into Dave's until they were finally tangled together beneath the diner table. Karkat could help the tiny, pleased smile that spread across his face. It was so simple yet so endearing.

_I'll leave when I wanna_

Karkat lay his head on the hospital bed, quietly contemplating why this had happened. Why had it been Dave? Why did he have to be caught be that three car accident on his way to Karkat's house. Even worse, not even a mile from his house. It had been just down the street. The noise had alerted him, and he merely had gone to look. Yet there Dave was, on the ground, dying.

Karkat clutched Dave's hand, tears biting at his eyes, but he was all cried out.

_Fate fell short this time_

"GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" Karkat yelled, pointing at the door. Dave stared back at him with a confused expression, but he quickly concealed even that behind his sunglasses.

"See you, Kar," Dave waved and strode out as if Karkat hadn't just screamed at him like some upset woman. Karkat curled into himself, whimpering quietly.

_Your smile fades in the summer_

Karkat held tightly onto his memories of Dave as time continued to spur forward. Dave was fully healed, but he still hadn't awakened.

_Place your hand in mine_

Dave grabbed Karkat's hand, twining their fingers together. The dark movie theater hid Karkat's smile.

_I'll leave when I wanna_

"They say you might not wake up," Karkat mumbled while staring at Dave. He was breathing on his own. Humans were such weak creatures. Soft pink skin, they were just so fragile.

"That's not true is it?"

_This place was never the same again_

Karkat closed the door to his apartment. Everything he had was in boxes. He had already lugged them to his car. He couldn't stay in that apartment anymore. It was killing him.

_After you came and went_

"Dave?" Karkat breathed when Dave's eyes opened slightly. Fingers moved a bit, and then his eyes slid closed, and he collapsed against the hospital bed.

_How can you say you meant anything different_

"You're my matesprit, Dave," Karkat whispered in the blonde's ear one night before rolling over. He wasn't really the cuddling type.

_To anyone standing alone_

"Hey, can I have a puff?" Dave asked Karkat, eyeing the cigarette in his fingers. Karkat shrugged and held it out to him.

"Sure."

_On the street with a cigarette_

Dave smoked quietly in front of the rundown bar he worked, at. Karkat was dragged along by his friends. He was spitting and growling, obviously not wanting to be there. A small smile crossed Dave's face. _What an interesting guy._

_On the first night we met_

Dave leaned against the bar, looking at the bored man at the stool.

"Are you going to order anything?" Dave asked. Karkat frowned slightly.

"No," he answered quickly, dismissing Dave as quickly as possible. Karkat mumbled something about damn cool guys under his breath.

_Look to the past_

Karkat shook slightly, remembering that his heater had broken down earlier that week. His apartment was so cold. Karkat rolled onto his side pulling his blankets around himself, tight and comfortable. He shivered again. He thought about Dave's apartment. The heater was probably off. Karkat would have to go visit it again to clean up the dust and turn the heater on. When Dave woke up, his apartment should be ready for him.

Karkat squeezed his eyes closed. He was thinking about Dave again. His heart ached lowly in his chest. Karkat didn't want to think about Dave before he fell asleep. That only meant that Dave would pop up in his dreams again. Karkat didn't want to wake up alone anymore.

_And remember and smile._

"Hey, Kar," Dave said, not looking at the shorter troll. Karkat glanced over at him, away from the movie that was playing on his laptop. It was a movie that would usually put Dave to sleep, but somehow he was quite awake.

"Hmm...?" Karkat hummed, not really wanting to miss a moment of the movie. It was finally getting to the emotional part. Karkat was prepared to burst into tears at any moment.

"Here's your tissues," Dave told him, placing the box in his lap. Karkat smiled, realizing that he had forgotten to grab them himself. Dave was being really cool again, but Karkat didn't feel irritated about it. Instead, he felt happy. His heart swelled at Dave's thoughtfulness. Then he began to cry, just in time for the most beautiful part of the entire movie.

Karkat loved that movie, but somehow, he couldn't watch it without Dave.

_And maybe tonight_

Karkat tossed his blankets aside, shuffling through the cold apartment and his foot caught on something. He bent over to pick it up. The cover of the movie was one that he recognized. It was Karkat's favorite movie. He started to cry. He hadn't watched movies in ages. Karkat hadn't watched a single one sense Dave fell into a coma.

_I can breathe for awhile._

Karkat crawled back into bed, no longer able to muster up the strength to go visit Dave's apartment. He stared out the small window of the apartment as the sun slowly began to crawl over the horizon and spill into the streets. Karkat simply lay there, feeling empty inside. He wanted to see Dave smile again.

_I'm not in the scene_

Rose Lalonde walked into the small, pristine hospital room. Gifts and flowers and cards littered the small desk in the room. A book lay on the night table with Dave's favorite pair of shades resting on top of it. She wandered over to the empty chair across from Dave's bed and cracked open a book, beginning her weekly reading session in Dave's hospital room. She wondered how long he'd been in there, silently lying there in a world all by himself. Karkat would probably know, the troll didn't go one day without visiting him. John made a more frequent appearance than Rose, but no one was there nearly as much as Karkat. Rose believed Karkat had lost much more than just Dave when it all began. He'd lost a lot of himself too.

Rose was snapped out of her book at the sound of shifting sheets. She looked up to find Dave struggling to sit up. She dropped her book and helped him quickly.

"Dave!" she gasped. Dave put his sunglasses on and looked around.

"Where's Karkat?" he asked lowly in a hoarse voice. Rose shrugged slightly, feeling a bit sarcastic.

"And who might that be?" she asked good naturedly. Dave froze.

_I think I'm fallin' asleep_

Karkat sighed, a wave of tiredness rushing over him. He could barely bring himself to move.

_But then all that it means is_

"Karkat... Karkat Vantas, the troll?" Dave began to elaborate. He seemed completely unbothered by Rose's question, so she decided to continue the ruse, if only to amuse herself.

"Doesn't ring a bell," Rose replied, "Maybe your memories are all jumbled up, and you created a person to fix that." Dave's shoulders shook slightly.

"Karkat _is _real," he whispered before letting his head collapse onto his knees. Rose's eyes widened. She hadn't expected him to be so messed up about it.

_I'll always be dreaming of you_

"Dave..." Karkat sighed, a smile on his face as he slept. His arms encircled a pillow as light red tears stained the gray fabric.

_Fate fell short this time_

"Sorry, I was joking..." Rose laughed softly, "See? You can call him." Dave held his hand out for the phone. Rose complied quietly, and Dave listened to the soft purring of the phone ringing. He was afraid to not hear Karkat's voice. Rose had shaken his assurance that the short troll was truly real.

_Your smile fades in the summer_

_Ring... ring..._ Karkat didn't move or awaken. He hadn't slept in a few days, so he was dead asleep. He was in a brutally happy place, one that he expected to be shattered when he awoke.

_Place your hand in mine_

"Kar, don't worry. We'll always be together," Dave promised while Karkat shook with tears.

"They could've killed you," Karkat replied with a harsh undertone. He accepted Dave's hug quietly, afraid that Dave would disappear if he let go.

_I'll leave when I wanna_

_Ring... ring..._

"He won't pick up," Dave whispered. Rose sighed.

"He probably fell asleep. He hasn't been sleeping much since..." Rose trailed off, not particularly wanting to talk about the accident.

_Are we alone, do you feel it?_

Karkat jolted awake. His head felt like it was being compressed due to congestion. He'd been crying in his sleep again. Karkat picked up his phone to look at the time and noticed that he'd missed a call from Rose. He began calling her back while finally beginning to make himself move out of his bedroom. The phone rung three times before Rose picked up.

"Karkat?" Rose asked, sounding a bit surprised that he'd called her.

"Hey, Rose. You called me earlier?" Karkat replied quickly. Rose paused for a moment.

"Oh, you need to go to the hospital. Apparently they're going to pull the plug on Dave. I've tried to convince them otherwise, but they won't listen," Rose told him nonchalantly. Karkat's heart stopped.

"They WHAT!?" Karkat practically ran out of his apartment without further adieu.

_So lost and disillusioned_

Rose smirked to herself. Both Karkat and Dave were too easy. Kanaya looked at Rose curiously, a single eyebrow arched.

"Why did you tell Karkat that?" she asked curiously. Rose's smirk grew a little.

"Because it was fun."

_Fate fell short this time_

Karkat ran to the hospital. He was so afraid of being too late.

_Your smile fades in the summer_

Dave's chest rose and fell at a slow, rhythmic pace. Karkat could imagine the oxygen mask being removed, and Dave struggling and sputtering for breath until he finally suffocated. The thought tore Karkat apart. He couldn't let them do that to Dave!

_Place your hand in mine_

Karkat burst into Dave's room, his face was bright red from all the physical exertion. Dave was sitting up, appearing to read a novel though he was really thumbing through the pages.

"D-Dave..." Karkat breathed, barely able to contain his excitement as he ran over to the blonde. The troll captured one of Dave's hands in his own and held it close to me. Dave smiled slightly. Karkat had missed that smile.

_I'll leave when I wanna_

Karkat sat there with Dave for the rest of the day, telling him in detail what all had happened while he was out. Karkat fell asleep at Dave's bedside.

_Are we alone, do you feel it?_

Karkat awakened to find the sky outside completely shrouded by dusk. He looked around to make sure no one was nowhere. Karkat stood and planted a kiss on Dave's forehead.

_So lost and disillusioned_

Dave was alive and recovering. That was more than enough for him. Karkat lived to see Dave's little smirks. He was so happy to have Dave back.

**And that's a wrap! **

**I encourage reviews, thoughts and opinions are great! If there are things that you would like me to detail more, then I am more than happy to listen. :D**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~Minatu-chan**


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